PARENT RESOURCES

Parents play an important role in helping their new college students adapt to and succeed in their new environment.  The following tips may help parents better understand what to expect and how they can help their college student transition to Concordia College.

Be a Support

No matter how grown up they are, most students still consider parents to be their primary support system.  You are needed in ways that you may not even consider, but you are needed in new and different ways.  It may take some time for you and your student to figure out what that new support will look like, but listening, encouraging, and helping your student develop his/her own skills are some of the most basic ways you can give support.

Recognize and Respect Adulthood

The law and military recognize your son or daughter as an adult, and so does Concordia

College.  Recognize them as adults and treat them as adults.  They will challenge themselves

and grow like never before in the college environment, and at the core of this growth is

self-efficacy and independence.

The Trust Factor

Students who feel trusted by their parents are more likely to be confident, assertive, supported, and know their limits.  Students who do not feel trusted by their parents are more likely to be defiant, noncommunicative, followers, and secretive.  You have raised them in a particular way that has helped to make them who they are.  Trust the values you have instilled and your son or daughter’s instincts.

Understand Culture Shock

Don’t be surprised if your student’s excitement cools off after being in college a while. It is natural to go through culture shock. Culture shock doesn’t last forever, and the stages are relatively the same for everyone.  First there is excitement about a new experience and environment.  This gives way to disappointment and sometimes hostility.  The newness of things are no longer exciting, but frustrating and sometimes overwhelming.  Sometimes new students expect that college is going to be fun and engaging at every turn only to find out that even in college there are some dull moments.  Eventually, students adapt, meet friends, become involved, and learn how to learn in an academically challenging environment. 

Understand the Schedule

In addition to the class schedule, your student will be extremely busy with library time, group study time, tutor time, preparing presentations, reading, and writing.  Add to that any time your student spends in student organizations, athletics, or other organized activities, and you will see that college students have busy schedules.  Consider school their full time job, and remember that overtime is often required during mid-semester and finals. 

Manage Stress

Understand that stress may be new or more frequent than before.  Help your student develop stress management skills.  Encourage utilizing the resources at Concordia and living a healthy lifestyle that includes nutrition, exercise, and sleep.

Encourage Growth

This is a critical time of your student’s life…a time of exploration and self-discovery.  Your student will not only become well-educated in an academic discipline, but will learn a tremendous amount about who he/she is.  Encourage your student to grow as a person and to follow their passions.

Encourage Involvement

Research shows that involved students tend to be more satisfied and academically successful than uninvolved students.  Of course, becoming too involved can be detrimental, too.  Encourage your student to choose one or two activities that compliment their studies, interests, or hobbies. 

Resist the Urge to Fix Things

When your student experiences a conflict, don’t get in the middle.  Foster a sense of independence, confidence, assertiveness, and problem-solving by helping your student figure out how to deal with problems on their own.  Support and encourage your student, but do not intervene.

Avoid Being Too Critical

Before being critical of your student’s academic performance, find out if he/she has done everything they know how to do to succeed.  Investigate the problem.  Perhaps he/she needs to fine tune study skills.  Perhaps he/she is not managing time effectively.  Perhaps he/she misunderstands assignments, has test anxiety, or just plain does not understand the material.  In all of these cases, there are resources available at Concordia that can help.  From the Academic Enhancement Center to talking one-on-one with professors, encourage your son or daughter to utilize all of the services at Concordia to improve their academic performance.

Applaud Accomplishments

Praise your student for all the things he/she accomplishes—for some this may include doing their laundry without making everything pink!  You may not be able to put the ‘A’ paper on the refrigerator anymore, but you can let your son or daughter know you are proud.

Be Interested

Your student will experience many new things and be introduced to new concepts, theories, and issues.  Who knows what may get them fired up?!  What’s important is that your student is fired up and excited about some aspect of the college experience.  Showing interest in newfound pursuits will demonstrate that you are interested in your student’s life and development.  These experiences may shape who your student becomes, so tune into what they are doing.

Share Experiences

Share stories and experiences. Not only will you create a closer bond with your

student, but you will learn from one another.  Many students and parents enjoy a closer relationship once college begins because they can relate to one another better than ever before.

Be Patient

Patience is no less important now than it was when your student was a toddler.  He/She is now a young adult and learning what that means and who he/she is in relation to the rest of the world.  These are big lessons that do not always come easily or quickly.  Patience may also need to be extended to other people and college staff with whom your student interacts.

Be Open-Minded

Your student’s ideas and behaviors may change as they experience new things.  These ideas and behaviors may not always coincide with your own.  Remember that your son or daughter is a young adult and making sense of the world in his/her own ways. Try to be open-minded about them.      

Times They Are A Changing

Acknowledge that times are different than when you were in school, and your son or daughter is a different person, too.  His/Her experience will likely be very different from your own.  Listen and respect your student’s experiences.

Laugh Often and Provide Perspective

Keep a sense of humor.  You can help him/her understand that the world is not crumbling when

he/she receives a poor grade.  Help them keep things in perspective.

Send Stuff

Send packages and mail often. It doesn’t matter what it is, it is always exciting to receive mail and know you’re on someone’s mind.  Receiving “real mail” is a highlight to any student’s day.

Respect Privacy

This seems like a no-brainer, but it can be difficult.  Don’t read your student’s mail that is sent to your permanent address. Ask if he/she would like you to forward it or keep it aside for when he/she comes home next. 

Don’t Keep Up With the Joneses

Your student is a unique individual who should not be compared to others.  That kind of pressure is unnecessary and can be detrimental.

Realize that Time is Precious

Students’ time management skills are tested and fine-tuned throughout their college years.  Remind your student to prioritize tasks and set limits.  But remember that this may apply to you, too—be understanding if your student tells you they don’t have time to talk—especially around mid-semester or finals time. It’s also unwise to show up unannounced. College students are busy and likely will not have as much time to give you as you would like them to.

Accept Bad Days

Expect less than cheerful emails or calls. Some days or weeks are particularly stressful. Don’t worry—your student is normal!

Encourage a Social Life

Remember that college life isn’t just about academics.  A social life is important, too, for a well-rounded education and to foster identity development.

Actively Listen & Empathize

Remember what it was like when you went through a life change like this.  Everything is new and nothing is familiar. That may be where your son or daughter is right now.  Empathizing will help you know how to support your son or daughter.

Take Care of Yourself

You are still the number one role model to your student.  The way you live your life will influence how your student will live his/hers.