Nikoli Falenschek '11
Concordia Chapel
September 16, 2010 

We humans are habitual creatures.  What happens is that we get ourselves into routines, and these routines change the way our subconscious interacts with our brain.  Some habits are good; some are bad.  An example of a good habit would be the example of brushing your teeth, or maybe putting your dishes in the dishwasher.  Isn't it also the case, though, that as we grow older, we come to discover that we can change habits?  Most of us would think of changing habits as a move from the bad to the good.  I'm going to give you a few examples from my own life.

• When I was young - I have since grown out of this bad habit - I was very smart about finding ways to not brush my teeth. When my mom told me to go brush, I would head to the bathroom straightaway, just like a good little boy. When I was alone, I would run my brush under water for two reasons: so that my parents heard the water running and so that my bristles got wet, just in case they checked. After a timed two minutes, I would turn the water on again and wet my fingers, which I would then touch to my toothpaste dispenser. That way, if my parents checked, my toothpaste was touched by wet fingers. I eventually grew out of it, though.
• When I was young, I was very bad at putting my dishes in the dishwasher. I remember one night I was lying on my stomach in the living room - my dad was sitting behind me in his chair - and I was eating a pop tart and watching TV. When I finished I walked to the kitchen and set my dish on the counter. Now, you have to realize that the kitchen was like fifteen feet away and my dad probably watched me the entire time. After I had lain down again, watching TV, my dad asked me, "Nikoli, did you put your dish in the washer?" I responded with "Yes." Haha My dad promptly got up and went into the kitchen. I got in trouble for lying.

There are certain aspects of our life that contribute to our "knowledge" of what is good, and what is bad, but what determines "why"??  Not the why behind the distinction between good and bad; we just answered that, things like our parents, cavities, things that help us determine what is good and what is bad.  No, I'm asking the question Why do we inherently feel an affinity for habit?  Because habit is safe, habit is comfortable.  Habit is what defines our world as smooth and successful, something that alleviates stress.  Habit is the warm, fluffy pillow that we can cuddle with on the rainy days of our life when nothing seems to go right.

                Habit is also something that warns us of danger.  When outliers and routine-breakers begin to merge with our predicable reality, a red light goes on and we instantly begin to stress out and worry about even the slightest variety.  Variables can fill our warm, fluffy pillow with lumps and make the painfully rainy days even more agonizing.  But, this discomfort stems not from the nature of our encounters, but instead our perceptions of these encounters.  This week at the Symposium, Awakening to Wonder, we heard from many different people about how they experience wonder, enchantment - how they experience the sacred.  In each case - regardless of the means taken to bring these things about - in each case, we find the experience to be a positive encounter.  Sure, awakening to the wonder found in the seemingly limitless realm of space can be frightening; and sure, at times the created worlds of Middle Earth and Twilight can seem frivolous; and yes, sometimes even the realm of sacrament and reality may seem at odds.  But, it is these experiences that God supplies us with a way of finding meaning in life, motivation to open our minds and our senses to the world around us, to look within ourselves as an adequate conduit for such encounters to manifest and be appreciated. 

                You see, there is something magical in the unexpected, something divinely inspired, and it is in the surprising that human experience transcends the earthly and delves deeply in the spiritual.  As habitual creatures, we sometimes fear these things, but in more cases than not, we treasure them and keep them safe inside our vaults we call memory.  It is with this tool that we can break free of our strict routines and experience on a day to day basis the wonders and enchantments of this life, the sacred moments we all hold dear. 

This adventure into variety may seem risky, like maybe some things we will experience won't be all pleasurable...  Well, guess what?  It is risky, and not everything we encounter will be pleasurable.  But, the fact of the matter is - the fact of life - is that displeasurable things happen anyway, and it is the willingness to open our hearts and minds to the new and different that allows us to recognize this life's variables for what they really are...  "Blessings."

What does it mean to be a blessing?  As we read in the Gospel for today, the commandments state that we ought to love our God and love our neighbor, both incredible gifts, fantastic blessings that our God has given us.  I will tell you now - and I'm sure others will as well - that loving others means adventuring out of our self-involved habits, breaking our routines.  As we have already seen in times of variety, great instances of clarity, joy, enchantment, and communion with the sacred can work wonders here.  Also, as we've said already, these excursions into the unfamiliar bring risk.  Now, we don't normally associate "love" with risk."  But it is here, my friends, where I think risk manifests most potently.

Let me tell you a story...

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  • This summer I worked at a camp in Grand Rapids.   My first in-camp week was week two, which was known as "Roseville" week, because over half the camp came in the same Roseville group.  My cabin held seven ninth graders, and my neighbor, Counselor Gabe, was in charge of eight eleven and twelve year olds.  I learned that week that God had placed me where I needed to be.  You see, I had been doubting my decision to work at camp; I had never even attended camp as a child.  This was my first camp experience.  But, during that week, I was blessed with the gift of loving my cabin mates as well as the other kids at camp.  There was such an intense love fostered in just under a week. 
  • Well, on August first, I got a call from the leader of a day camp in Proctor - I was leading my own team in Cloquet.  "What are you doing tonight?  We need to get together."  Well, fortunately, my team had no commitments that night and we were able to meet up with her team.  Gabe was on her team, that neighbor counselor from that early week.  Carter was one of his campers that early week, and earlier that day Carter was playing with his friend.  They were at the playground at the Roseville church and were messing around with some homemade slingshots.  A rock flew out of his friends slingshot and struck Carter in the chest.  Little Carter's heart stopped and he died instantly.

Loving others is a risk!  Because, once you invest yourself, the choice consumes you and that love is inescapable.  When Carter died, his counselor, Gabe, was devastated.  I wasn't even his counselor, but when you invest yourself into a place like camp, you can't help but look outside yourself into the periphery human beings you are in community with.  His death troubled me as well. 

During staff training, we are told over and over again that we have a very large responsibility in that place because we are blessed with the means to be a blessing.  Well, what happens when we allow ourselves to be moved by the Holy Spirit in such a way that we break free and begin to love another, and all of a sudden, that variable is cut from us?  Well, just like in the physical perceptions of this life, when we get cut, we feel pain.  There was, and still is, mourning for little Carter.  But, if we look through the lens of God and his incredible capacity for wonder and joy, we also find blessings.  Love is never invested in vain.  Carter's life was full of wonderment and routine-breaking; his face was constantly full of love and joy; his heart full of questions, and he even now continues to return blessings on us, he fellow neighbors in love, in the form of memory.  Love, you see, God inspired love, is eternal, and doesn't stop at the inconvenience of earthly death.  No, it lives on in the blessing of eternal life through Christ Jesus.

Loving Carter was a risk, but I do not know of anyone who would say ‘Take him away so I cannot love him.'  Why?  Because, I don't think human beings are meant to be habitual.  I think human beings have been programmed by society to desire routines and predictions, while simultaneously being encouraged by the Holy Spirit to venture out of our comfort, out of our self-involved nature.  It's the Holy Spirit that creates within us a longing and appreciation for the variables, for the different, and in that sense, though our minds may be opposed, our hearts are constantly being programmed and reprogrammed to experience wonder through being blessed and being a blessing.