Tips for Parents
As the parent of a new college student, you play an important role in helping your child succeed in a new environment. The following tips may help you better understand what to expect and discover ways you can help with the transition.
Be a Support
No matter how grown up they are, most students still consider their parents to be their primary support system, even in college. It may take some time to figure out what this new support will look like, but listening, encouraging and helping foster independence can go a long way.
Recognize and Respect Adulthood
The law and military recognize college students as adults and so does Concordia. You can do the same. They will challenge themselves and grow like never before in the college environment. At the core of this growth is self-efficacy and independence.
The Trust Factor
Students who feel trusted by their parents are more likely to be confident, assertive, supported and know their limits. Students who do not feel trusted by their parents are more likely to be defiant, noncommunicative, followers and secretive. Trust the values you have instilled and their instincts.
Understand Culture Shock
Don’t be surprised if the excitement of college cools off after a while. It is natural to go through culture shock and it doesn't't’t last forever. The stages are relatively the same for everyone. First, there is excitement about a new experience and environment. This gives way to disappointment and sometimes hostility. The newness of things are no longer exciting, but frustrating and sometimes overwhelming. Eventually, students adapt, meet friends, become involved and learn how to adapt to an academically challenging environment.
Understand the Schedule
In addition to the class schedule, new college students will be extremely busy with studying for class, preparing presentations, participating in athletics and/or organizations and getting to know new friends. Consider school their full-time job, and remember that overtime is often required during mid-semester and finals.
Manage Stress
Understand that stress may be new or more frequent than before. Help them develop stress management skills. encourage utilizing the resources at Concordia and living a healthy lifestyle that includes nutrition, exercise and sleep.
Encourage Growth
This is a time of exploration and self-discovery – becoming well-educated in an academic discipline while also learning about themselves. You can help by encouraging them to grow and follow their passions.
Encourage Involvement
Research shows that involved students tend to be more satisfied and academically successful than uninvolved students. Of course, becoming too involved can be detrimental, too. Help them find a balance.
Resist the Urge to Fix Things
When students experience conflicts, resist the temptation to get involved. Foster a sense of independence, confidence, assertiveness and problem-solving by helping them deal with problems on their own.
Avoid Being Too Critical
Before being critical of their academic performance, find out if they have done everything they know how to do to succeed. Ask about study skills, time management, test anxiety or difficulty understanding course material. Concordia has resources to help improve academic performance.
Applaud Accomplishments
Praise students for their accomplishments and let them know when they do something that makes you proud.
Be Interested
Ask questions and encourage conversation about what they’re doing in college and what they enjoy. Showing interest in newfound pursuits will demonstrate that you are interested in what’s important to them.
Share Experiences
Share stories and experiences. Not only will you create a closer bond, but you will learn from one another. Many students and parents enjoy a closer relationship once college begins because they can relate to one another better than ever before.
Be Patient
Patience is no less important now than it was during the toddler years. It’s a time of learning who they are in relation to the rest of the world. These are big lessons that do not always come easily or quickly.
Be Open-Minded
Their ideas and behaviors may change during college and not always coincide with your own. Remember that students are making sense of the world in their own ways and try to be open-minded about them.
Times They Are A Changing
Acknowledge that times are different than when you were in school, and that you’re different people with different experiences. Listen and respect those experiences.
Laugh Often and Provide Perspective
Keep a sense of humor – it can help students deal with difficult situations and keep things in perspective.
Send Stuff
Send packages and mail often. It doesn't't’t matter what it is. It’s always exciting to receive mail.
Respect Privacy
This seems like a no-brainer, but it can be difficult. Don’t read students’ mail. Instead, ask if it should be forwarded or saved for the next trip home.
Don’t Keep Up With the Joneses
Don’t compare students to one another. That kind of pressure is unnecessary and can be detrimental.
Realize that Time is Precious
Students’ time management skills are tested and fine-tuned throughout their college years. Remind your student to prioritize tasks and set limits. But remember that this may apply to you, too. Be understanding if you’re told there ism’t time to talk and don’t show up unannounced.
Accept Bad Days
Expect less than cheerful e-mails or calls. Some days or weeks are particularly stressful. Don’t worry. It’s normal.
Encourage a Social Life
Remember that college life ism’t just about academics. A social life is important too, for a well-rounded education and to foster identity development.
Actively Listen and Empathize
Remember what it was like when you went through a life change like this. Everything is new and nothing is familiar. Empathizing will help you know how to be a good support.
Take Care of Yourself
You are still their number one role model. The way you live your life is an important influence on what they do with theirs.
Orientation
